kWoest | Loving Day


Tue, 01/19/2010 - 9:30pm -- kWoest
State (if you are in the U.S.A): 
New York
Province/Region/State (if you are outside of the U.S.A.): 
United States
Computer Technician

Brian and I met at work. We were friends before we were lovers; good friends at that. The inter-racial thing was never really an issue. It's weird for me because, you see, I'm adopted. I am Colombian (born in Bogotá) and I was raised by an Irish/Polish-American family. I never thought I was white, but being adopted into a family where you can easily appear to be un-related was never how I felt. I guess I couldn't recognized race until I was much more social, older and independent. Once I began to introduce myself into the world as an individual, that was when I was confronted by the racial standards of others. To say the least, I didn't understand them. I couldn't wrap my head around why people expected me to speak Spanish. It might sound weird but it's the truth. I just didn't get it. At least not until sociology and psychology classes that I took in high school began to explain everything.

Then I guess I "got it". I understood what it meant and why I was treated differently. Why boys reacted to me oddly, at times. Why they'd say things like, "I've never dated a spanish girl before," (all the while, I never "felt" Spanish) was completely foreign to me.

Luckily for me, with Brian that was never (and has never been) an issue. I was really amazed when I met his close friends. If his friends were in relationships, they were in inter-racial ones and didn't give a second thought to it. It was so weird, but so entirely gratifying. Like I could be me and not be second-guessed, if that makes any sense.

So we've been married now for almost 2 years and the thing that excites me the most is thinking of our children. What they will look like and what they will feel like as they age. And because of my experiences growing up in New York City, I feel all the more prepared to help them adjust.